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“The Limitations of Love”
I Corinthians 8
January 28, 2006My husband and I will have been married 29 years this October. We know the limitations imposed by love. For example, if some terribly handsome movie star should approach me requesting pastoral care, I could listen compassionately; I could pray with him, but I could not accept his invitation to fly off to the Caribbean for a weekend of intensive therapy! And though I might be passing up an exciting opportunity, I know my life is much less complicated because of a decision I made years ago – a decision to allow my love for David to limit my relationships with other men.
It is with this understanding of love’s limits that we turn to Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth, written to mediate a squabble that threatened to tear them apart. It’s important to note that the best place to buy a good roast or steak in Corinth was the meat market next to the pagan temple, where they offered living animals as sacrifice to idols. Like the Jews, the pagans reserved some meat for the priests and some for public sale – so the best meat markets in Corinth were right next door to the pagan temple. Everyone in town knew that if you ate that meat, you were eating meat that had been offered to an idol. Therefore, the question arose in the church: “If a Christian eats meat offered to an idol is he not condoning idol worship?”
There was one group that said, “Yes, that is exactly what he is doing. When our pagan neighbors see a Christian sit down to enjoy a steak that has been offered to an idol, they might assume Christians go along with pagan worship. And isn’t that giving false testimony? Furthermore, his actions might cause a weaker Christian to fall back into idol worship.”
The other group said, “No, that’s not true. After all, an idol is nothing more than a piece of wood or stone. If we avoid meat that has been sacrificed to idols, aren’t we acknowledging that idols have some kind of power? We say go ahead and enjoy our freedom, eat this perfectly good meat so that none will go hungry. In so doing, we’re saying to the pagans, “your practices are empty and useless.”
Friends, we continue to argue about issues in the church today. We disagree about music and worship styles; we argue whether or not it’s appropriate for a Christian to use alcohol or tobacco. Should we censor the television shows or movies we watch? Should Christians gamble or read a horoscope? Should the church ordain practicing homosexuals? Marry same-sex couples? Should Christians serve in the armed forces? Is the church intended to be a collection of saints – a holy people, set apart for God’s good purposes? Or are we an assembly of sinners in need of God’s grace – a hospital for the walking wounded?
It’s tough for the church to be “one in Christ,” when we are divided on so many issues!
Notice how Paul handles the argument in Corinth. He makes it clear that he doesn’t have problems with eating meat sacrificed to idols. He’s a man of knowledge – and he knows idols have no power over him. But Paul warns Christians not to be a stumbling block for others who disagree. Unity of the body of Christ is more important than individual freedom. Acting in love is more important than being correct – and if eating food that has been sacrificed to idols shows a lack of sensitivity to those who worry about eating such food, then Paul says, “Don’t do it!”
Dr. Harry Ironsides tells of a time he attended a picnic with a man who had recently converted from Islam. Unfortunately, the only sandwiches served were ham sandwiches – and Muslims don’t eat pork. When this young man graciously refused the ham sandwich, Dr. Ironsides said, "Well son, you’re a follower of Christ now; don’t you realize that the food restrictions have been taken away? You really are free to eat a ham sandwich."
The young man replied, "Yes, I know that I’m free to eat ham, but I’m also free not to eat ham. . . You see, I am the only Christian in my family, and I still live at home with my mom and dad. Every time I go through the front door, my dad asks me, ‘Have those infidels taught you to eat that filthy pig meat yet?’ And so far, I’m able to look my dad in the eye and say, ‘No Dad, I don’t eat pork.’ Sir, I refuse to eat pork because as long as I live at home, I can be a positive witness of the saving love of Jesus Christ.” This young man was willing to forgo his freedom for the sake of the eternal destiny of his family. While he knew he was free to eat pork, he chose to act in love, not in arrogance.
Perhaps that is what Paul means by these words, "Love does not insist on its own way." While we affirm that knowledge and freedom are of great importance, love must determine our behavior. We may be free to think as our conscience dictates, but we must take into account the people who may be affected by our decisions and actions. The health of the whole body of Christ – the church – takes priority over individual knowledge and freedom. These are the limitations imposed by love.
Paul does not seem overly concerned about what impact eating the food might have on folks outside the church. What he IS concerned about, is what they must think when they see Christians bickering with one another! How can Christians bear witness to their unity in Christ, when they are at odds with one another? So, Paul says, “you may not think that eating food used in idol worship is a sin, but there are those among you who are convinced it is an affront to God. And regardless of who’s right and who’s wrong, it IS a sin to cause another Christian to stumble.”
In other words, as important as knowledge and freedom are, there is a higher value among Christians. Human knowledge is limited and finite; confidence in knowledge can give way to haughtiness and self-righteousness. And while Christ has set you free – your freedom must be exercised in the context of community – for you are part of the body of Christ. We share responsibility for one another – we are bound to live within the limitations imposed by love.
Love welcomes people from diverse background and differing outlooks – whites and blacks, rich and poor, male and female, gay and straight, liberal and conservative, married and single. Love frees us to be one in Christ. Love works to keep the various segments of the community from splintering into warring factions. Love is the only way those with differing points of view can experience genuine community in Christ. Love means that every one of us must be willing to compromise – and not assume that someone else should do all the compromising. These are the limitations imposed by love.
Such limitations do not mean that we avoid conflict. In fact, Paul insists that the church in Corinth confront and deal with this difficult issue. Instead of avoiding the issues, perhaps the church is exactly the place they should be dealt with.
I must confess I have always dreaded Annual Conference debates over social issues. Should we ordain practicing homosexuals? Conduct gay union ceremonies? Should we demand President Bush be impeached for getting us into an unjust war? Should we boycott a pickle company for using illegal laborers? All too often, we get hopeless mired in arguments based upon differing interpretations of scripture.
The battles on the conference floor are particularly difficult in light of the fact that my dear friend, Marsha, is usually on the opposite side when it comes to social issues. She tends to be liberal and I take a more conservative approach to interpretation of scripture. I love her dearly, but I’ve smugly imagined that it was she who was misguided. However, this week as I prayed and studied Paul’s words to the church in Corinth, God convicted me of my self-righteous attitude.
Truth is, despite our differences, Marsha and I are deeply committed to one another. We have shared our deepest secrets; prayed one another through the best and the worst of times of our lives. She is my sister in Christ and we are knit together by mutual love for him. So it occurs to me that the witness Marsha and I make when we are able to love one another despite our differences, is even more important than a unified witness based upon theological agreement! In fact, it may be that when we are one in Christ despite our differences, we are most authentically the body of Christ.
Friends, good, intelligent, faithful disciples of Jesus Christ will interpret Scripture differently. My life experiences and training may cause me to interpret Scripture one way, and your life situation and training may bring you to a differing interpretation. But regardless of who is right and who is wrong, Christ has called us to live together as the church.
I am not suggesting we settle for mere tolerance – tolerance tends to give way to apathy – and God’s Word strongly warns us against being apathetic – or “lukewarm” in our work and witness.
No, I’m talking about authentic dialogue – the kind that listens to one another, really listens – not in order to correct each other, but so that we might learn from one another. That is the kind of dialogue that can protect us against self-righteousness. For without the ministry of those with opposing views, we can easily become proud and pretentious. We cut ourselves off from grace, by judging our knowledge and faith to be so correct that we don’t need grace.
Paul words to the church in Corinth remind us to hold to our convictions with humility; for surely it is more important to be loving, than it is to be right. That does not mean we deny our differences, but, rather, that we see our diversity as God's gift to us – a guard against self-righteousness, and a reminder that God's ways are not our ways. We need one another in order to more fully discern the will of God. And as we welcome and accept persons with differing points of view – we honor and reflect the Lord's welcome and acceptance of each one of us.
Surely, Paul's words speak to us today, calling us to play a reconciling role in our church family, in our homes and our community. He calls us to renew our commitment to maintain the unity of body of Christ, the church.
Dear people – the church lives in trying times – and we may be tempted to draw our lines in the sand over issues that could tear us apart. But let us remember and commit ourselves to live within the limitations imposed by love – and in doing so, may we be blessed in knowing the fullness of God's love – a love that is big enough to embrace all of us! Thanks be to God! Amen.
***** Note: I am indebted to Dr. Laura Mendenhall for her thoughts about the “limits of love.” (Protestant Hour)
Rev. Tonya Arnesen
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